As I understand our culture, a woman likes to cuddle during, ah, the afterglow. However, I do not. I like to clean. I feel cuddly for about 15 seconds, and then the same thought always strikes me:
"I should clean the bathroom."
Sometimes the bathroom is already clean. I lie there cuddling. Then my feet begin to twitch. Then the urge to clean becomes overwhelming. It must be some primal nesting instinct. I think:
"I bet this would be a good time to organize the pots and pans."
Gary used to coo, "What are you thinking about?" Now he pins me to the bed and says, "Don't even think about it."
"But it's so dirty!"
"You are not going anywhere."
I ask, "Do fresh cookies sound good?"
"You just want to make cookies so you can clean the kitchen after."
I'm not a naturally neat person. For example, if it weren't for the post-coital cleaning urge my master bathroom would never be cleaned. The rest of the house gets tidied up when people come over. This for example, is the current state of my kitchen:
I find six things wrong with this photo. Can you? I have: 1) Stuff on counter 2) Stuff on table 3) Magnets on refrigerator 4) Exposed power strip no longer hidden by coffee maker 5) Under-cabinet knife holder swing out instead of parallel with cabinet and 6)TWO burned-out light bulbs.
Yeah, so I confessed this kinky cleaning urge with a girlfriend tonight. Turns out she has the same little kink. So, I wonder: which are you? Any other cleaners out there? Shh. You can be anonymous.