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Comments

~~Silk

Could it be that the general temperature in your office is too high, and he, having sampled the air, is just trying to fit in? Perhaps y'all need to lower the thermostat generally. Like a "sexual harassment sensitivity reeducation" meeting.

TasterSpoon

I HATE New Guy. He has generated zero goodwill for himself, and he's already trying to spend it. To give him a little credit, though, maybe he thought that, the atmosphere being what it was, revealing his Sexual Harassment history would give him a little street cred.

I think it's funny that Staring Man didn't know his reputation - but endearing that he was bothered by it.

If New Guy is just annoying people, but nobody's actually afraid of him, maybe you or someone could give him the benefit of the doubt, chalk up his poor judgment to not knowing the rules around here, and spell things out for him - what's cool and what isn't. And also? GIMME BACK MY CAMERA!!

Rena

I think you are obligated to spell it out for him. It's obvious to you that he's creepy, but he may not know it. Yeah, he knows he was fired for sexual harassment, but he might not understand exactly what it was that he did wrong.

However, baby talk requires a smackdown.

TheQueen

~Silk - admittedly, it is a rowdy atmosphere. This is why I quizzed my rowdy male colleagues: "Why is it that when you say something like 'Nice shoes' it's okay, but when he does it's creepy? You even wiggle your eyebrows."

Taster - Yes, this is what I AM SAYING. I keep thinking my camera will be mailed to me with a movie of him in big diapers.

Rena - Really, I felt baby talk was his worst offense. That's what HR should be doing training on. "Baby Talk in the Workplace: Your Rights."

GG

Q: Are we obligated to confront creepy guys?

A: Obligated? I think the measure is if you are truly uncomfortable. Then you should feel obligated to yourself to do something to address the issue.


Q: Does this ever work? The Artist Formerly Known as Staring Man was quite shaken and surprised by his reputation, once it was revealed to him.

A: I think you answered the question. Some people are just not conscious of what they do and when brought to thier attention can cause a change in thier behavior. AFKASM was evidently not aware and, albeit embarrased, glad to have it pointed out.

Q: Also: Could New Guy just be trying to fit in with the frank talk? Have we given him permission?

A: I'm of two minds on this one: 1) Most people can sense the difference betwix humor in the workplace and hostility. So the initial anatomical reference by HYC could be construed as "permission" it would only be permissive in the appropriate context of the humor. 2) Nature vs. Nurture - in that the envirnment had been presented that it is acceptable behavior and he just doesn't understand the culture enough to know the appropriate boundaries of such comments.

Based on the reporting so far though (and evident commentary by parties that seem to have been there) this guy is a creep and should be sat down and talked to about his behavior.

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