Oh, I know it's tacky to discuss money. Shut up.
But I MEAN, this "Estate" business just keeps getting stranger and stranger. Stranger, of course being the operative word. In case you are just joining our programming:
1) Gary's Uncle Stranger and Aunt Whoozits died recently and romantically and childlessly one right after another.
2) Uncle "Huh?Who?" died first, followed by Aunt "I think Dad has Another Sister, Maybe."
3) Me: "Huh? Your Aunt left your dad how much money?"
4) Gary's dad makes plans to avoid massive tax penalties by dumping some cash immediately on his kids.
It's all so, so Bronte. I mean, who dies with money in this day and age? Why weren't these people languishing in a fund-sucking Nursing Home? And, when Ken gets money will he still buy the hot dogs that turn the water pink when you boil them? Will money change him?
As it turns out, we may never know. It appears Uncle Referred-to-by-the-wrong-name-all last-Sunday had a first marriage, and those kids are saying, "Ken who? Who is this guy? My dad's second wife had a brother? And what is he doing with Dad's money?" (I am sure they don't call it an Estate. I imagine they are to the manor born, while Gary and I are the type of people who "buy their silver." Whereas Ken and Wilma are the type of people who buy their gold-plate from K-Mart. )
At any rate, they are contesting the will. Understandable. They feel their father's will should be the one honored, since, you know, it mentions them, and it wasn't really their fault he died first.
This is actually good, because it puts the whole Estate thing back into the realm of Eternal Youth and Free-Five Sex fantasies. Gary was getting himself all worked up about paying off his Visa card before this horrible, horrible money gets here, because otherwise he'll never be able to say "I paid off all my debts without any help from anyone." (I mean, other than me. I'm sure he meant to say that.)
Then I get this phone call from Gary.
"Hey, Uncle ... Uncle... you know, that guy who died? His will just came in the mail!" Gary chirped. And guess what?
Gary is mentioned specifically in Uncle Not-my-blood-relative-I don't even-know-his-name's Last Will and Testament. Not Gary's dad. Gary. Well, Gary and his sisters, but evidently Uncle WhatWasYourNameAgainPlease mentioned his wife as the inheritor of everything, and if his wife is dead, it's all divided up fairly evenly between his kids and his wife's nieces and nephews, including Gary.
It makes it a little hard to sleep knowing that Gary's cousins-in-law are out there fantasizing his death by carbon monoxide poisoning. Oh, and maybe his Dad too, I don't know. All I know is I am married to one lucky bastard.