Speed Fighting

Gary and I fought a lot in our formative years. We fight just as much now. We just fight faster.

For example, last night we had a fight. I went out to dinner with a friend, I came back, and I started doing some work from home because we have a big deadline. Plus, I was tired, and Gary can be a little draining, so that's another reason I decided to go straight to work. Even though I had alerted Gary: "I am working. Don't bug me!" he only made it ten minutes without coming in to tell me about something he read in Wired.

Within a total of one second:
1) I sighed heavily.
2) He shouted "Fine!" and stomped off.
3) I yelled "Working!"

That was it. We didn't have to say all the subtext (Wait-a-minute-Gary-you-worked-every-night-till-ten- the-first-five-years-of-our-marriage-until-we-had-to- see-a-marriage-counselor/
Yeah-because-you-were-insane/
Well-at-least-Im-being-paid-for-this/
What-are-you-saying-I-can't-support-you...etc.)

Now we just scream "Working!" at each other and it's kind of like shorthand for the fights that will never be resolved. Like in Parliament, when the Prime Minister says, "I refer the honourable gentleman to the answer I gave some moments ago."

Only shorter, i.e. "______________Insert fight here".

Here are some of our speed fights. You can probably guess at the extended versions.

Mine:
"Not joined at the HIP!"
"But not bad enough to take aspirin!"

Gary's:
"Shared experience!"
"I cannot EXPRESS myself to MY OWN WIFE?"

Just some simple little phrases that save hours of fighting.

Comments

[~~Silk]

Daughter and I had shorthand fights down pat by her mid-teens.
Me: "Mommy stuff, Mommy stuff!"
Her response: "Kid stuff, kid stuff!"
It really did work.

[robin]

"NEVERMIND."
It's universal, and it works every time.

[sgazzetti]

This is indeed a highly efficient form of fighting. It makes me realize that sometimes my wife and I are fighting without using ANY WORDS AT ALL.

[TheQueen]

Silk - That is excellent. Mom and I wrote each other detailed letters. I like your way better.
Robin - True, but then you trust the other person to know what the problem is.
Sqazzetti - I refer the honorable gentleman to the answer I gave some moments ago to Robin, above.