In Which I Play Catch Up with College

I only went away to college for one semester, and I spent my free time living Puritanically, so I did not have the college blackout binge drinking experience. At least, I didn't have it until my late 20's.

The first time I drank enough to feel the effects was a glass of Sangria at Pasta House. I have had several glasses of Sangria, some at the same Pasta House, and none were like that first time.

"I love you, Gary!" I said fervently. 

"What, are you drunk? You aren't going to get drunk every Friday like your Dad, are you?"

"I love my Dad!" I said fervently. "I love you both so much." And I did. I have never felt such universal love. All drinking was just a let-down after that, especially since I never again found the Holy Grail of Magic Sangria.

When Dad died he left me all the liquor, since Dave had a drinking problem. One night, Gary planned to stay at work till at least 12 am. I slammed down the phone after he told me, and then I decided to find out what all that alcohol tasted like. I didn't go crazy. I didn't just slam a shot of gin and a shot of anisette and a shot of sherry. I mixed each shot with half a can of Dr. Pepper and then drank that.

After an hour I remember getting out my new Victoria Jackson cosmetics (as Seen on TV!) and using them on half my face a la the infomercial. After an hour and a half, I let out the dog. Then Mom called, I panicked, I had to sound sober -- I forgot about the dog entirely. For half an hour. Then I let him in and I cried. After that, I have no recall what I did except for taking books off the bookshelves and not talking to Gary when he came home. I ran out of Dr. Pepper. I started with a six-pack. I can't do the math, but whatever I drank made me lose my memory.

I woke up the next day, still pissed at Gary -- and not hung-over at all. Luckily, the binge did not make me happy, or heal any inner pain, or do anything but delay the next day's undiminished unhappiness. There but for the grace of God, I guess.

Comments

[Amy in StL]

Wow, not hung over at all? That's awesome and scary all at once!

[TheQueen]

Amy in StL - Nope, and my Dad was never hung over either. But I imagine he had quite a high tolerance. I don't know why I think that alcohol is a bad coping mechanism and Celexa is acceptable -- but then again, I think my last visit to the crazy doctor clarified it for me. Bad feelings - just cry it out and cope with it that way, bad thoughts - go for the drugs.