On the Way to the Butcher, This Occurred to Gary:
"What if they haven't been plucked?"
I explained to Gary then we would give the turkeys appropriate Catholic burials in the backyard.
But, as it turns out, these are Amish Birds. "Fresh Amish Turkeys!" the label cries. While we have been addressing the turkeys we have taken pains to refer to them in a PC way. "Let us put thee in the refrigerator - it is an appliance of the Devil."
And, the butcher said "Oh, no, these turkeys are fresh as a daisy. You can keep them in the refrigerator for 10 days, at least."
"So I won't kill the in-laws?"
"Wrong answer," I muttered. So it appears we are back to 'only' two turkeys, each cremated in the demonic hell of the electric oven on their own day.