Which Are You?

As I understand our culture, a woman likes to cuddle during, ah, the afterglow. However, I do not. I like to clean. I feel cuddly for about 15 seconds, and then the same thought always strikes me:

"I should clean the bathroom."

Sometimes the bathroom is already clean. I lie there cuddling. Then my feet begin to twitch. Then the urge to clean becomes overwhelming. It must be some primal nesting instinct. I think:

"I bet this would be a good time to organize the pots and pans."

Gary used to coo, "What are you thinking about?" Now he pins me to the bed and says, "Don't even think about it."
"But it's so dirty!"
"You are not going anywhere."
(pause)
I ask, "Do fresh cookies sound good?"
"You just want to make cookies so you can clean the kitchen after."

I'm not a naturally neat person. For example, if it weren't for the post-coital cleaning urge my master bathroom would never be cleaned. The rest of the house gets tidied up when people come over. This for example, is the current state of my kitchen:

I find six things wrong with this photo. Can you? I have: 1) Stuff on counter 2) Stuff on table 3) Magnets on refrigerator 4) Exposed power strip no longer hidden by coffee maker 5) Under-cabinet knife holder swing out instead of parallel with cabinet and 6)TWO burned-out light bulbs.

Yeah, so I confessed this kinky cleaning urge with a girlfriend tonight. Turns out she has the same little kink. So, I wonder: which are you? Any other cleaners out there? Shh. You can be anonymous.

Comments

[Rebecca]

This urge is familiar to me. Not so much anymore, but once upon a time, afterglow equalled cleaning frenzy.

I read some study (who thinks up this stuff? Obviously a woman in afterglow...) that men release some hormone that makes them sleep and women release a hormone that makes them more awake and alert.

[Caroline]

I just want to know how it is that I've been in that kitchen at least 8 times and have never noticed the stenciling.

My urges to clean come when I am stressed. If you ever find my house truly clean, either I am stressed or my mother will be arriving within 24 hours. Oh wait. Same thing.

[robin]

"I just want to know how it is that I've been in that kitchen at least 8 times and have never noticed the stenciling."

I immediately noticed the stenciling when I saw her house for the first time. Not that there's been a second time I've seen her house. Nope. Just the once. But I did notice the stenciling. I think I even asked, "Did you do the stenciling?" I don't remember the reply, but I do believe I did ask.

I'm a cleaner. For me, "afterglow" entails the GLOW left on the wood of the tables AFTER you use that awesome oily stuff to wipe them down. So shiny...

[TheQueen]

Caroline - The stencilling is dated AND no one ever notices it AND it means I can never paint the kitchen. But when you risk your life teetering on a ladder over the basement stairs to stencil the stairwell you are obliged to keep it.

Robin - You freak, no one ever notices the stencilling (I prefer the European spelling).

[Catherine (redheaded one)]

I noticed the stencilling. I love the stencilling. Your stencilling gave me the idea for my stencilling (although it was years ago I noticed it, I remembered it when the time came to decorate my own house). Agreed my stencilling doesn't look like yours, but the idea to use stencils I got directly from your kitchen.
PS-I like to cuddle for bit, then clean things.