A few things I learned at the Conservabration:
1. When it comes to Graquel's taste in music, I do not like Incubus but I went out and bought a Crossfade CD based on two songs she plugged into my head from her iPod.
2. Bourbon? A waste of time. I drank several ounces of fancy bourbon (Single barrel? Does this mean anything to anyone?) and it did nothing but instantly give me a headache. I didn't even register on the Breathalyzer. Does Single Barrel mean alcohol free?
3. Sleep eating is perhaps the funniest sleep disorder ever, especially when the sleep eater is describing the detritus left on the floor by the bed after the sleep buffet.
4. People can be scary when they are drunk and get RIGHT IN YOUR FACE to let you know they make charitable contributions.
5. Conservatives have more faith in humanity than I have. I still don't think individual people would give as generously and even-handedly as the goverment.
6. Areas of agreement: George Bush is a moron. Bill Clinton also in many ways a moron. Both too much in love with their penises.
7. I am the only one who thinks artists who get grants from the NEA should have more sense than to insult their patron, the government. Everyone else is all "Oooo, art should never be censored." Well, fine, but a little self-censorship? A little common sense?
8. Our black conservative said "Okay, well I'm worried that someone will shoot Barak Obama too, but if that's what it takes then so be it." Actually, I think what she said was "so be it, baby," but she was drunk.