At an impressionable age I read this in one of the Little House books:
But even better than a balloon was the pig's tail.
Pa skinned it for them carefully, and into the large end he thrust a sharpened stick. Ma opened the front of the cookstove and raked hot coals out into the iron hearth. Then Laura and Mary took turns holding the pig's tail over the coals.
It sizzled and fried, and drops of fat dripped off it and blazed on the coals. Ma sprinkled it with salt. Their hands and their faces got very hot, and Laura burned her finger, but she was so excited she did not care. Roasting the pig's tail was such fun that it was hard to play fair, taking turns.
At last it was done. It was nicely browned all over, and how good it smelled! They carried it into the yard to cool it, and even before it was cool enough they began tasting it and burning their tongues.
They ate every little bit of meat off the bones, and then they gave the bones to Jack. And that was the end of the pig's tail. There would not be another one till next year.
Okay, tell me you don't want a pig tail right now. I do. I'm not a fan of cold pork products, or pickled pork products, but I'll eat any barbecued pig part.
I have failed in my attempts to find barbecued pig tails. You'd think the issue would be that there's only one tail per pig. However, I have had my share of pig snoots, and there's only one snout per piggie.
Mmmm. Yeah, I followed Gary into that BBQ place by UMSL twenty-plus years ago, and we asked, "Snoots? What are those?"
"Pig snouts."
"Cool!"
And if you haven't had one, shut up. Just shut yourself up because I can hear you, especially you Northerners. They were crispy snoots, which you can read about here, and they were tasty. And kosher! No. No, not really. I've been trying to find a non-copyrighted image, but it will just match what's in your mind right now anyway. That is, if what's in your mind is a full-on frontal pig snout, that has been flattened out like a pig scalp with the nostrils right there for prime thumb access.
(And if you are grossed out, go back up and read that pig tail paragraph again. Little Half-Pint ate pig tails! She still grew up to be a lady. Don't talk trash about Half-Pint, people. )
At any rate, there's a chance I'm only a week away from pig snoots again. There's a music festival in Memphis I'm going to, and it has been suggested there will be BBQ. I'll be the woman wandering around wailing, "Snoooots? Snooooooooots?"
The snout is out from whence poureth the snot. The tail is too near from whence cometh the pig's poop.
There be pig parts that will never cross my lips.
Posted by: Zayrina | April 29, 2007 at 09:11 PM
Next year, on the cruise, if they are serving tales or snouts, I promise you can have my place in line at THAT buffet.
Posted by: Melissa | April 29, 2007 at 11:15 PM
You left out the part that "the balloon" was made from the pig's bladder. I realize that the gameboy hadn't yet been invented, but swatting around the bladder of a newly-butchered pig????
Posted by: Christy | April 30, 2007 at 11:55 AM
Wow... Just last weekend my husband just shot a wild, 600-lb pig (that's right, 1/5 a ton of pork) and it's at the butcher's right now - maybe I should make him call and reserve the tail? Who double-dog dares me to try it out?
The head's getting taxidermied and hung in the family cabin, so no snoot joy there.
Posted by: Tracy27 | April 30, 2007 at 05:28 PM
Oops, I meant, 1/3 a ton. Or thereabouts. Math wizard, me.
Posted by: Tracy27 | April 30, 2007 at 05:29 PM
Zayrini - Well, have you ever had liver? Liver is whence the toxins go that are not deemed acceptable for the poop. I hate liver.
Melissa - No, they wouldn't serve tails or snoots, just thin tasteless bacon. At one point on the cruise my mouth was crammed completely full of bacon and I realized there wasn't as much taste in that whole mouthful as in one slice of home-cooked bacon.
Christy - Well, Pa washed the bladder, didn't he? Come on, people, Pa wouldn't let Half-Pint get pig blood or urine on her little hands.
Tracy - I triple-dog dare you. Do it. DO IT!
Posted by: TheQueen | April 30, 2007 at 07:49 PM
Robin and Caroline - I always start out with those plans. My closet is organized into nice hangers for work clothes, standard plastic blue hangers for weeken wear, white plastic for pajamas. That will last about a week.
TasterSpoon - Oh, I bet I know what he has in there. Don't men have extra uses for socks? MMmmmhmmm.
Jenny - I think it's a good sign your guy hangs on to old underwear. Gary does that, and I think its because he's loyal to things (and people) he's intimate with.
Zayrini - then, all i have to say is, "Fuck this shit! From this day forward you will feed your own fucking dog!"
And moth-mode? That is delectable.
Posted by: TheQueen | April 30, 2007 at 07:56 PM
"Zayrini - then, all i have to say is, "Fuck this shit! From this day forward you will feed your own fucking dog!"
Different man.
Oh and I no eat liver. I am a nurse and know all too much about livers and their role in...erm...stuff.
I also refuse to eat snails, irrespective of how phillistinian that makes me. They are living boogers.
Posted by: Zayrina | April 30, 2007 at 10:33 PM
All of your commenters here are trying to act all cool and casual, like munching on pig snoots is no big thang, sorry to disappoint, Queen, but we're too jaded for a little snoot talk to get a rise out of us.
Fine, I'll bite. Up in the North where I come from, you can get pig snoots at the big pet superstore and they give me the willies. I was trying to think why it's creepier than a tail, or than those hooves they're in the bin next to. It's because they're part of a FACE.
You're eating a FACE.
Posted by: TasterSpoon | May 01, 2007 at 12:36 AM
Oh. Ew. Well, when you put it like that...
Come to think of it, I'll be honest. When you put it like that I think "Cool! What other parts of the face could I eat?"
Posted by: TheQueen | May 01, 2007 at 11:08 PM
Having grown up going to Asian markets with my mom, I'm used to seeing large trays of pig parts on display in the meats section. Snouts, ears, feet, you name it. I don't recall seeing any tails, though. Hmm.
Oh, when my Filipino peeps throw a party, we like to serve whole roasted pig. That's right, complete with head *and* tail. And the pig would be right there on the table, just staring at you! I never ate any part from either end (I liked the crunchy skin), but I know some people liked eating the face.
Posted by: Catherine | May 05, 2007 at 11:19 PM
Caherine - Huh. No pig tails? As I understand it they aren't curly. Just a big long tail like you'd find on a hound dog.
Plus, St. Louis snoots get their crunch from the cartilage, not the skin. Hmm. I wonder why we don't eat pig's ears?
Posted by: TheQueen | May 08, 2007 at 11:55 PM