Did you hear? December is National Hospital Visiting Month! DeNaHoMo '07! Who's with me?
Today I again was back at Big Barnes - recommended by one in seven Republican presidential candidates. I was there for my final visit before being dosed with either the drug or placebo. (So close I can taste its sugary goodness.)
I told the Trial Supervisor emphatically that I needed to be back at work soon, not after four hours, soon. She whipped me right through my blood work, pulse, mental challenge test, and the popular pegs-in-holes test. "Okay!" she chirped, "We just need a urine sample and you can go!"
"You can go." Ha. No. It would appear this was a problem.
"No luck?" she asked when I came out with my empty cup. "Here, have some water." I downed four cups of water. I said I'd give it another "go."
Forty-five minutes later ...
...still there, on the commode, running my hand under warm water, thinking of the ocean, tapping my foot (no doubt in some secret sex code), moving the cup away, moving it back, thinking of baseball, NOTHING NOTHING NOTHING. I was severely peestipated.
In the course of that forty five minutes I drank a scant gallon of water. Finally I emerged again. The nurses started to mock me. Still, I was the center of attention! I jumped up and down hard, and got a laugh, then I pushed on my belly for another laugh - and it worked! I got the urge. I ran back in the bathroom and nabbed a half cup.
Of course, since then I could have drowned the entire staff in what's come out. My pee is not only clear, it smells like a field of flowers after a thunderstorm. You could bottle this stuff.