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April 09, 2008

Comments

Vaguely Urban

And more of the same from me: Wishes for strength. Hope for any kind of good news.

TheQueen

Vaguely - I did not break down today. I choked up a few times, but no hysteria. And some good news: Gary's been campaigning to get Mom a generator to run her bi-pap if the power goes out, and my heart stopped every time I heard thunder. He brought in a car-based battery backup today, and then unexpectedly UNPLUGGED MOMS BI-PAP and plugged it in to the new car thing, "JUST TO TEST IT," and momentarily cut off her breathing. She started coughing. Minutes later, I gave Mom the first dose of her new pain meds. Gary came in, complained Mom wasn't responding well enough, and said, "You've poisoned her." I led him outside to have a calm, civil conversation and after three exchanges he said, "When I said you poisoned her, that had nothing to do with the way I had just almost killed her. In case you suspected that." That was handy since I hadn't made that connection yet. Then we both realized how true it was and laughed. A little.

jamon

I'm very sorry to read about you and your Mum.

Despite it being so desperately sad, I'm heartened read how close you all are - physically and otherwise.

Something you can't put a price on, that.

My best wishes, for what they're worth...

Kristin

My Dad 'talked' to people my Mom and I couldn't see while in hospice. While freaky, it is comforting to think that maybe someone IS waiting on the other side.

Caroline

Wasn't me this time. You have many, many friends.

yookie (aka tonya)

I don't mean to alarm you, but hospice patients speaking about/asking about/being visited by dead people is usually a sign that they are getting ready to leave this world. It's usually not a bad thing, and can be very comforting for patients, as though someone is coming to take them to the next life.

(There's a great book called Final Gifts about patients in hospice-- I know your dad was in hospice so you have previous hospice experience but you might find it interesting or comforting now or sometime in the future.)

Anyway-- I don't mean to alarm you, only to try to comfort you that this is normal. I am still thinking of you all daily.

Amy in StL

I've been on vacation since late March; so I'm late to offer my support. Sounds like you have a lot of people looking out for you, so I'll just say "Hang in there."

I'm glad you have a support system and you get to spend time with your mom. It's one of the reasons I moved back to St. Louis when I did. I wanted to be able to spend quality time with my parents before they were to a point where our time together wasn't fun. Then I'll be able to be here for them during those times too.

TasterSpoon

Last Christmas break, my grandmother, who had been deteriorating for several years, was in a bad way. I moved a sleeping bag in by her bed so that someone would be there in the middle of the night when she called out for orange juice or the dog or rolled out of bed or whatever. You reminded me of that time yesterday, because she also intermittently got really hot. Anyway, she freaked us out (esp in the middle of the night) when she'd call out to various people like my grandfather (dead 30 years) or become really frightened that spirits were coming to get her - that part was totally spooky. The next day she was fine and the nurse told us that hallucinations were an unsurprising result of something relatively normal and physically-based, like dehydration or kidney stones - I wish I could remember what.

Anyway, she had several months in her after that point. The only reason I'm mentioning it is because having been able to be there for just a little bit made all the difference in the world for ME when I didn't ultimately get back from California in time to say goodbye. So, I'm glad you're able to be there, that's all I'm saying.

TasterSpoon

Also, because you got me thinking of her, I had a very involved dream with my grandmother last night. Lots of crying, but I was so glad to be with her I didn't want to wake up from it. So, it sounds weird, but thanks for that, truly.

keri

its good to hear that you are able to laugh, even if it is just a little. . .

TheQueen

Jamon - Thank you for the wishes. It's getting better now that Mom's in less pain.
Kristin - Mom sure is behaving that way. She keeps asking for help "getting out of here."
Caroline - Did Libby do the truffles?
Yookie - ah, we know. The little hospice book we have indicates it will be only a short time, if a week.
AmyinStL - It is nice to be here, and I'm really glad Dave is here so he can see her.
TasterSpoon - several months ... wow. I heard of someone on hospice who then lived another two years.
keri - Everyday we've laughed a little. Balanced by crying a lot.

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