Place Your Bets

Saturday is the big Dual Mother's Day / Birthday Party for my mother-in-law. It should last six hours.

Let's place some bets.

How many times will my mother-in-law mention my mother and how sad it is that I don't have my mother on this Mother's Day and how terribly I must be missing my mother since it is Mother's Day and even though I don't have a mother my mother will live on always in my heart.

How many times?

I'm serious. I'm going to keep track. If your guess is closest I might even bake you something and mail it.

Place your bets in the comments. Betting will end Monday night.

Please, no doping.

Comments

[keri]

im gonna go with. . .5

for your sake though, i hope i lose. . .meaning i hope its less than that obviously

you could make a drinking game out of it though. . .every time she refers to your mom, take a sip

[Autumn]

I'm gonna go with 7...one for every hour and by extra. You should definitely go with the drinking game.

[Autumn]

**that "by" should've been an "an."

[Lisa Emrich]

Well, not having a clue as to the nature of your MIL, I'll lowball it at 4. Each of those sentiments you listed above once, and add 'this must be so hard for you.'

I agree with the drinking game suggestions. I hope that you survive the day and maybe find some solitude during those six hours. I hear bathrooms are good for that sort of thing.

[Becs]

I'm going with 7, also. It sounds like this woman has no idea of the pain she inflicts with her sympathy and that she is being good for being so sympathetic.

It's been 11 years since my mom died and only now am I getting over the pangs every time Mother's Day is mentioned.

[#0.5]

I will go with 3 just so I can have my own number.

What do we win? hehehe

[magpie]

Fourteen.

[Katie]

6.

But boy do I hope I'm wrong. Except for the baked goods part.

[Catherine the Red]

2. Once at the beginning of the event and once during.

[judith]

Well, hell, since you are so sure of her, I'll go with 13. Just the fact that you mention it, makes me know her a lttle too well.

[Zayrina]

18

[Melissa]

Thirteen.

[Shania]

If she drinks, 36. If she's sober, 12. I want a pie.

[Heidi]

I'll say 11, although I think it would be better if it was a big fat zero. Alas, considering past stories you've told, I doubt that would happen.

[yookie]

8. :-)

[Caroline]

I'll go with 5, plus a mention of how much easier holidays will be now that you only have to be with the S_____ family.

[Becs]

Ack! Re Caroline's comment. She's right! The S___s will try to commandeer your every holiday. You must immediately discover a stepfather you never before mentioned and that he lives in Miami and also has houses in London, Paris, and Hawaii. Then you and Gary go and do what you want, even if it's staying at home watching "A Christmas Story" twelve times in a row.

[Erin]

Four.

Although, I think it'd be really fun if you could get Gary to convince her that you're really sensitive about Mother's day and even hearing "the m-word" will set you off. It could be an elephant-in-the-room day celebration.

[wyo]

Ten. Just because it hasn't been taken yet. And today's the 10th. Oh, cripes, that's going to be a long six hours, isn't it? Good luck ...

[TravelSkite]

I'm guessing once, purely through nominal politeness.
It's my first orphaned Mother's Day too.
But on a brighter note, I'm coming to you from Adelaide - can you tell? (Sorry if you thought you had a new Australian fan - but at least you know why Auckland's gone quiet). A tuna bit my finger this morning. They're quite big, you know, despite coming in such little tins at the supermarket.

[Suebob]

My friend Kirk used to deal with hurtful comments in a dramatic and kind of fun way. When someone hurt him, he would put his hands over his heart, recoil as if he had been hit and say "Ow!"

Just something to try LOL

[Formerly Heartless Cow #3]

Nine.

Of course, you can use grief for a valid reason NOT to celebrate Mother's Day this year. "It's just too much!"

They expect drama. Give it to them. In spades.

[lazydaisy]

I'm saying 7. And I'm sorry for every single one of them...what a day!

Also I like brownies.

[Empress of the universe]

Dear Subject,
I am writing to you as a concerned mother, I have been following your blog for sometime. I just want to let you know how vile and obnoxious it sounds and what a pathetic person you must be!!!! Your website seems to mock everybody, family and friends which leads me to beleive that you must not have any. Obviously your family does not like you either. I say this because no one in the right mind would be able to say such things about someone who obviously cares for you. For instance, your in-laws, specifically your mother-in-law. Mother-in-laws get a bad name anyway...but you go beyond that. To mock your mother-in-law on her birthday and as well as mother's day is just vile. The only thing I can say is I will pray for you becuase you will need it.

[Zayrina]

Oh dear. A concerned mother. I pity those kids.