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June 07, 2008



"Flaming bucket of porn" made me laugh so hard that I nearly snorted out the oatmeal I was having for breakfast. Thank God it wasn't Cheerios.


"Flaming Bucket of Porn" WBAGNFARB.


I should clarify; WBAGNFARB=would be a good name for a rock band.

Lisa Emrich

That's hilarious that a 26-year old story would just recently (last year) be fully embellished with "the rest of the story." During my early college years, my boyfriend at the time had a propensity for drawing his own version of porn and leave it scattered. My dad took my car on a Saturday morning to fill it up with gas and give it a good detail job. Well, he found a stash of detailed drawings in my glovebox which caused him some distress (so it seemed). When he was behaving strangely upon return and obviously disturbed by something, I questioned him what was wrong. His answer was that he didn't want to talk about it. It took me a while to figure out what had happened, and he never did tell me the whole story.


Thank God I wasn't eating or drinking when I read that.


Oh shit...I can't wait for z to happen so I can hear all about x. My goodness that was creative of him. What a backfire.

Friend #3 (AKA Flossie)

Great story!

Hmm... I think I'll try on calling Gary "Smut Fairy" when next I see him.


No wonder you love him so... :)


This might be the best story ever...


So, praise for "flaming bucket of porn" and "smut fairy" are already taken. That's okay, though, because my favorite was " no doubt expecting some new kind of ultimately frustrating foreplay from my bag of technical virgin tricks".


Becs - Post: Oatmeal-worthy. Check.
Shania - Thanks for clarifying! I would never have guessed.
Lisa Emrich - Bwa! That would be troubling.
Zayrina - I don't think there's ever a moment I'm not eating or drinking. At least not this weekend.
Stljoie - He's really still proud of it as a romantic gesture.
Friend #3 - Please do. Just don't mention X.
Sue - He went out an bought more porn soon after.
Autumn - I've needed to make more public fun of Gary for some reason lately. I don't know why.
Christy - We've referred to the Episode as "Flaming Bucket of Porn" for years.



I like the snow penis. I think my mother would've dropped on the spot.

I also like the denial of porn until it got him somewhere. Very man-esque.


Smut fairy, snow penis, flaming bucket of porn. Priceless.

Oh, lord, what will cause the reveal of X???


I think it sounds awfully sweet!


Katie - I wonder if Mom suspected Gary. I really don't think she did.
Magpie - Nothing. NOTHING.
TasterSpoon - It was sweet. A friend gave his wife his box of condoms, similarly sweet.




velocibadgergirl (and what is it with you and the squirrels?) - Not at the time, but a quarter-century later I see the humor.


Ok so I was thinking I'd read this story earlier AND I HAD...but I still cracked up...truly this might be your best story ever.


Autumn - you know whats odd? I've told this story in conversations and no one finds it funny.


It's time to solve for X.


Mershy - X no longer applies.

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