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July 25, 2010



I have one word to say. Bidet. Then it doesn't matter whether you go east or west, because afterwards you're going to flush the entire area with warm water.

And any thought of mockery is extinguished by the knowledge that only the day before yesterday I googled How to Blow your Nose. You know, just in case I've been doing it wrongly all these years. (I hadn't. Phew.)


Yeah, I can't get to Belarus that way, either.

That's just a way to taunt larger women. Like those skinny chicks in movies who put on their socks by putting their little knees up to their little chests and popping that dainty sock over their dainty toes.

I think this is like white girls flipping back their long hair at black girls.


Those folks at Wipeyerbutt.com clearly don't deal with the moist, industrial sized loads I do or they would not be so minimalist in their use of tissue.


Okay, I really am not sure what the hell ya'll are talking about; but I think you're talking about performing a sort of self-reacharound to wipe after I pee. While I could; it would be tough to do while sitting down and I didn't really get that from the graphic. I thought they were talking about wiping your butt front to back and coming from the back to keep all fecal matter away from your girly bits.


Wanda Sykes. Seriously funny.

Front to back, clean to dirty.


Big Dot - And I would ask the reservation desk if the hotel room in France has a bidet, but the SNL skit has put me right off that.
Becs - THANK you Becs. And I'm not totally sure it has to do with largeness. Even small I was long-waisted and short-legged. I'm looking at my wedding photo and it would have been a stretch then.
Zayrina - Good God I know! I'll have to let Gary see this. He can use up a roll per "seating."
Amy_in_StL- No, sad to say, I am unable to do the reacharound even when called for by the number two. I am too fat to wipe my own ass, or as I prefer to delude myself, too long-waisted to wipe my own ass.
Surpirisng Woman - couldn't find that Wanda Sykes clip, but I did find a very amusing one about leaving our vaginas at home.

Hot Mom

Circumnavigation was much easier at a hotter weight. I still try, though I usually have to tilt the globe to get the job done.


Hot Mom - That sounds like it would make a good guy-talk compliment. "Oooo, she's so hot I bet she can wipe from behind."

Now I'm curious to know if this is a trend. I'll have to look it up in old baby-training books.

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