If I have been sick in the last two weeks, and you have been sick as well, then God help you.
Our conversation goes one of two ways:
Me: "OH DO YOU HAVE A COLD?" (Makes Sign of Cross, leaves)
You: "Ugh, I just got over the worst cold last week."
Me: "Oh! I just had a cold. Did it start with insomnia, and then the next day did you have congestion for a few hours, but then that night your nose started running non-stop for the next two days, but only on one side, and then you puked and had epic diarrhea and then you felt better?"
You: "Yes!" (or sometimes, "Noooo ... ?")
I will always try to see if we had the same virus, not to find which of us is Patient Zero, but to bond.
One time I had this conversation:
Him: "Sorry I missed the meeting last week, but I was out with the stomach flu."
Me: "Oh! I just got over the stomach flu. Did yours start with distinctive, echoing gut noises, and after that did you keep getting dizzy because all your bowel contents, like, repositioned really fast?"
Him: "Yes! It was just like that!"
And you know what, I forgave that guy for almost certainly giving my that stomach flu, because the enemy of my virus is my friend.